IM SO FUCKING OVER IT! OMGOSH

I just can't do this anymore.. im laying it all at Jesus' feet. im admitted it okay! Im powerless. I can't do it all!!



THERE!! I want to scream and just freak out man i don't know hwy im so angry but i am! Frick!

Food for thought. When one lets something become their life, it does. Then when it does that person will try to fight it off with so many methods. But the only weapon that works is when that person truly stops wanting it in their life.

Ironic, and that does make sense. Although, i did admit that apart of me wasn't ready to give it up... Even though i want it out of my life, apart of me still thinks, it is me and if i dont have it then all hell will break lose and things will fall apart and ill have nothing to turn too... So, what am i to do? :/

Ask me anything, and i'll be honest. I'm not saying you'll like my answer though.

I am studying nursing aswell and I was curious on how you manage studying. I find it so hard to concentrate with the lack of energy. What area of nursing are you interested in

I study in 2 hour blocks twice a day. . Like reading the material while taking notes for the first hour and then the next hour doing the labs working it out like practicing it as if im really doing it like palpating or auscultating blood pressure on friends or scenarios. The second time is for a refresher making sure i still remembered what i studied earlier. THigns like that. Im a hands on learner, i have to see it. Also i have to hear it so i re-read a lot! Usually studying with a partner as focused as you does wonders. i want to open my own residential clinic for ED/Si/BPD/PTSD so on so forth. As well as the psychology field.

Ask me anything, I'll answer everything. Tell me what you really think.

do you ever want to recover?

Wow, this came out of nowhere.. of course i do! It's just insanely hard. Everyone has their certain time to recover and when its right. Recovery is not an automatic thing, its not a destination or event, its a process. A journey. A life long one at that. Years from now i will still struggle with thoughts of my eating disorder and wanting it back.

I didn't even start to lapse and relapse in my ED until a few weeks ago. When things started getting even more complicated and annoying.. I can't figure out many things right now, and my comfort zone is my ED. Thats my coping mechanism. I hate being forced into things or to do things. The only thing that will come of being forced is the total opposite.

I honestly do want to recover.. Who doesn't want to be normal? One day i wil recover, one day i will ... but today is not that day. An im afriad that day isn't anytime soon...

Ask me anything, I'll answer everything. Tell me what you really think.