My Update

Good news and Bad news


Good News:

Well losing weight :]
thats always a good thing also
i bought 2 bottles of diet pills
and laxatives.


Lipo 6 and Slim Quick Hoodia




Bad News:
My mom and everyone is basically on to my ED meaning they are confronting me about it. They already know i have one. Someone at the center confronted me and then my mom just did about 30 mins ago. I denied to my mom like no other and told her she was wrong. Which on half of the stuff she was she claims she knows things but she doesn't. I'm not always in my ED behaviors. Whatever.

Even so that makes it bad on her if she claims shes known i've relapsed for almost a year now then why the hell hasn't she brought up IP treatment? Or therapy? It basically shows and tells me that she doesn't give a fuck. She just said "fine don't eat and if you do throw up clean the toilet."  Gee thanks, screw you too..





i didn't fucking ask for this. No one did and so little people understand that. They think we want to have an Eating Disorder, uhm no! Seriously, worst possible hell to even go through. It's not easy to recover from and even though your recovered you still fight it everyday. It stays with you for the rest of your life in the back of your mind. Waiting for a weak point in your life to possibly relapse you, unless your stronger than it and choose to overcome it everyday. Unless you take back the control and choose to be healthy, and stronger then the impulsive voice telling you to lose weight, not eat, throw up, exercise more, take diet pills, laxatives, lie, isolate,self loathe and not concentrate. To lose your friends, push away your family members, lose your job, miss out on physical activities, miss class, not go to social events, constantly lethargic, unhappy when your not suicidally depressed, paranoid, a perfectionist, have nothing make sense anymore.

Or be constantly afraid that today could be the day your heart chooses to give out on you and your body is so badly damaged that you don't recover from a heart attack and you lose your life to your eating disorder.






You tell me if you really want this??





No?




Then why the hell would i?







http://formspring.me/CrushedSoul